I’m Just Not Good Enough

You spend so much time at work that it’s nearly impossible for your brain to not turn non-work-related situations into work ones. No, just me, well doing a puzzle recently gave me inspiration on standard operating procedures, skills gap analysis, team development, individual development and more. Unfortunately, that is too much for a single blog post so today I’m considering it from a skills gap analysis perspective with just a little development thrown in. To start let’s answer a few questions. What is a skills gap analysis? Analyzing a skill gap in basic terms means to measure an individual on their capabilities on certain key performance indicators (KPI) that impact the overall goal. You have to be intentional and specific to break down each individual skill and only choose ones that are relevant to the goal. For example, if you were going to do a skill gap analysis on cleaning your house you’d look at your abilities in vacuuming, sweeping, scrubbing, maybe prioritizing order of tasks or rooms. You would not assess your ability to pick the right Spotify channel. It might be something you do when you clean but it isn’t a KPI.

The other day the family was doing a puzzle. Well, not the little guy, but the older four of us because this was a serious puzzle. It was 500 pieces that would make a square picture of kittens playing with colorful yarn that was unraveling throughout a hay mow. Every piece seemed to include some amount of fur and hay and if you were lucky you’d get one that had a bit of yarn in it that you could at least find the general area it should be in. Also, I should have probably prefaced this with, we’re not really puzzle people. I’m not sure what made our son grab this one (to be honest I didn’t even know we had a puzzle in the house) but it was our first time sitting down as a family to work a puzzle. I feel like this might be a good time to ask, what is the right way to do a puzzle? That’s probably not fair right, on something where the stakes are as low as completing a puzzle there likely is no ‘right way’ to do it. I would venture to guess though that most people would say the way you do a puzzle is to separate inside pieces from outside, construct the perimeter, and then add back the inside pieces, ideally sorted a bit to build out the center. If you’re thinking that seems a bit ridged; you just dump out the pieces on the table, set up the box so you can see the picture, and go at it, you are not alone. You would fall squarely into my husband’s camp.

Our middle man’s hard work in action.

So here we are working the puzzle making jokes about how much we’re getting done and who is right on our puzzle tackling tactics and I notice my middle son (the youngest doing the puzzle) is starting to get frustrated as he can’t find pieces to get together. I casually start handing him any pieces I find with teal string on them. Within just a minute or two he has the whole bottom corner constructed. He starts to branch out a little from the teal ball he had built and again gets frustrated. He asked if we could work in pairs because my older son and Daddy were working closer together, and their completed portions combined were bigger than his. I pointed out to him he had more done than any of the rest of us on his own and to keep working and he’d get more pieces. He slowly added a few more pieces that were harder than the ball but between each piece he started to say things like, I’m just not that good at puzzles. Maybe I should do something else. Could someone help me? I’m really bad at doing puzzles. It was like he couldn’t see how much he got done and because his accomplishments slowed down, he started to doubt his abilities across the board, all within 5 minutes! My middle man didn’t see how much he had accomplished because he was so busy looking at Daddy and his older brother’s work. He didn’t give himself credit for building out a whole corner of an adult puzzle because he was frustrated he didn’t do better.

At 6 years old, my little man is not cognitively developed enough to grasp where his skills lie and where he needs more development and tools, so you better believe I connected the dots for him. He had skills in placing and orienting the pieces. He struggled in sorting then identifying what pieces went in his general area. All he needed to do was focus on the skill he had to gain confidence, close that gap, and perhaps learn a new way of doing things that would ultimately better support him (cough, sorting the pieces first instead of dumping them in a big heap, cough).

It can be tempting when we’re working toward something to compare ourselves to others. It can be hard to see what we’ve accomplished and be proud realizing that other’s have done more, or at least it looks like they have. All of that fear and doubt can make it near impossible to see the skills you have to offer. That is when a skill gap analysis can be really helpful. This can be a big objective chart all filled in or, like with my middle man, it can be a simple reflection when you catch yourself saying things like I’m just not very good at….. When you’re seeing results focus on them and ask yourself what specifically am I doing that is helping me and what specifically do I need help in? What are the KPIs for this task or project and which am I solid in, where do I need some help or development? Before you decide I just can’t manage a project, consider that maybe your organization and time management are on point but your written communication could use some polishing. Before you decide I’m just no good at sales, maybe consider that you’re great at understanding your customer’s needs and are passionate about what you’re selling, but don’t understand the specifics of your product well enough to provide the exact right solution. Then, gain your confidence from what you excel in and find ways to build up and support the gaps.

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