Do you ever wonder why there are so many struggles with low grade anxiety and stress in recent years? If you go back 50 to 100 years ago, the numbers are completely different. You don’t even have to go that far. This article from Psychology Today says that Gallop found that people in the US are leading the stress levels of the world currently at 59% and on average that is the highest it’s been over the past 12 years. Is there more to be stressed about or just more time to be anxious about it? Probably both but, more importantly, how do we deal with it? I will be the proponent of action. Work. Hard work. Doing things that are physically require focus changing the game for your ever running mind.
What this post is not, a cure.
First, I want to include a short disclaimer. In this post I will give examples of how physically moving your body for a result will positively impact your brain. I do not, in any way, think that chopping wood or shoveling or painting or anything else of that nature is a cure for any diagnosis. Not my intent to imply any of that. OK. If we’re on the same page, carry on.
Can you use hard work to solve the problem?
I have this little guy. He’s seven now and I’m pretty sure he got his mom’s social anxiety as well as his dad’s need for routine. Lucky guy. After 7 years we’re getting better about understanding what will trigger him and how to shorten the tail on what he’s feeling but, he still needs to go through all of the things. Feel all of the feelings for himself. I’ll give you an example, this summer there is baseball, time at the lake, short trips with grandparents, late bedtimes, fun foods, and so much more. This is all wonderful but is hard for my middle to navigate because he’s just switching too much and seeing too many different people. (Talk about a problem of privilege.) So he gets wound up and eventually gets super sassy and crazy.
Like I said though, we’re getting better at this so before he takes too many laps running through the house screaming nonsense or unacceptable words, we give him a job. It’s typically not hard but something that requires a little head and more of his body. It might be to feed the dog, put the chickens in, organize the shoes, something like that. He has to physically accomplish something. When I say accomplish, I mean where he can look at it and say, Done. I did that thing. Something where he can see the progress or completion.
Other times, when he is getting particularly overwhelmed and out of sorts, we find something bigger. Let’s split firewood, build a fort, or move some dirt. He will sometimes resist the idea but in the end, he just feels better once he’s accomplished something with his body. Because it feels good to physically accomplish something. There is something to be said for looking at a clean room or a stack of wood and knowing, I did that. I can do this thing so I can do the next thing.
OK but what about real problems? Can hard work solve those too?
I often forget how well things that work for him, or many other kids for that matter, can also work for us adults too. We too often think our problems are too complex or daunting to be solved in such simple ways. Guess what though, that is just a story we’re telling ourselves. Recently, I’ve been dealing with high stress and anxiety myself. I can feel myself all a buzz and each event that contributes to it increases the frequency of the buzz. Because I was sure the Insta-Influencers must be right, I spent more time with friends, found quiet time, did breathing exercises and yoga. All of that was great and did help to some extent. What made the biggest difference though, I sort of fell into.
I was anxious about a lot of things. Mostly complex very adult career and parent type things, but it was starting to spill over to other areas, as anxiety often does. One of the things I was feeling anxious about was the commitment I’d made to painting a room. It wouldn’t take long and I love to paint. However, the room was about an hour away, wall papered, and would take approximately 4 coats of paint. I didn’t have time for all that. The thought of doing all the things was excruciating. I know that I’m talking about painting here but those of you with low grade anxiety limited depressive episodes will get this. I was struggling to do something I really enjoy, and know I do, because it felt like too much. The prep, the travel, the expectations, were all too much. What if we forgot something or it didn’t go as planned? The idea of doing something I enjoyed was keeping me up at night because I was scared to do it. (This is my version of running through the house screaming out nonsense words.)
So what did I do?
Then, I told my husband about it and he helped move around the schedule. He bought and delivered all the tools we thought I’d need. I drove all the way there and I peeled wallpaper. Guess what, it did go wrong. Wallpaper took forever and I didn’t have all the tools I needed. However, I had gotten some help, had a plan, and was seeing results. That made it all doable. Once I could see the wallpaper down, it was like a weight off my chest. I reminded myself how grateful I am to get to do this. Then when the first coat of paint hit the wall, I felt a little more full. The physical work leading to actual results was so good for turning around my perspective. I needed the effort in my body to change my mind. Not the other way around.
That sounds like a lot of work, isn’t there another way?
That article I was referencing goes on to recommend mindfulness techniques for handling stress. That is great, nothing wrong with increasing our overall mindfulness and focus abilities. If that is your jam, get after it. You’ll love it. However, your brain is a really powerful thing and without something to anchor it, like a really strong existing mindfulness practice or a physical, tangible event, you will struggle to control that big, beautiful brain.
Like I said, go right ahead and use those techniques but I have found that regardless of the problem, action seems to work better and faster than mindfulness on it’s own. Taking the time to do something with your body that forces the breath work or allows mental space for the gratitude will help to solidify it.
What now?
So if you’re struggling with all of the pressures, stress, and anxiety, take some action. The hard work you do doesn’t have to even be related to your problem. Let’s be real, I still have all of those same big people problems I had before I started painting. However, physically moving your body and proving to yourself that you can do the hard things, will help build your strength to support your mindfulness in other areas of life.
If you noticed I took a few steps to get through the anxiety, and the action was just one of them, you’re catching on. I identified the stressors, was grateful for my circumstances, called in a resource, and more. If you’d like to try out a similar framework for your stressors and sources of anxiety, check out my free stress management resource to outline each step.