Have you cast a vision for the way you’d like your life to go? Is there an idea you have of what you want life to look like and when you want to see it? Can you tell if you’re making progress, even if it’s small? OK so a lot of people I know would say no to every single one of those questions. Most of all my busy mom friends. Many of them have goals for the next year or even next five years but they don’t know what the overall vision is or how those goals fit into it. Cast a vision for your life, it matters. For all of us working moms out there it is even more critical because of our limited time in all of the areas of life. If you only have a few hours a day with your family together it’s important that the time is spent moving toward how you want your life and family to be.
Casting a vision unifies the goals
For years I heard I was supposed to set SMART goals. I thought I needed SMART goals for my health and getting to my ideal weight. There needed to be SMART goals for my career based on a 1-, 5- and 10-year plan. I was supposed to have SMART goals with my finances including saving, investing, and paying off debt. I even thought I needed goals that involved my baby and toddler kids. You likely get a similar message. It feels incredibly overwhelming. Here you are a busy mom. You’re already juggling all of the things. Now you’re supposed to be actively working on a measurable time-based goal all going in seemingly opposite directions.
Would it be more manageable if you were really just working on one? What if everything you wanted to achieve fell under one overarching vision? That vision gives clarity on how to move forward in, or let go of, goals in each of those areas. That would be pretty great right. So, after years of feeling like I couldn’t set goals or maybe was too lazy or unmotivated to see them through, I came up with a new approach. I stopped thinking of where I wanted to go. I started to cast a vision for where I wanted to be. The ducks started lining up from there. It’s still work to move forward in goals but it’s much easier to see the progress and to make decisions on what to focus on because I’m only measuring them against one vision.
Sounds good, how do I cast a vision?
I started to flip the model. Rather than asking myself, where do I want to go in the next year or five, I started asking where I wanted to be when I was 80. I know that sounds a little silly but that is what I do. What is the most important milestones I’ll want to tell my grandkids and great grandkids? What will I have wanted to achieve by that time in my life? How will I measure success after that much experience? I truly visualize it. I picture me as an 80-year-old woman. What do I look like? Where am I spending time? How am I doing physically and what am I doing mentally? What am I talking about and who is around me? Asking and answering these questions is how you cast a vision.
Then once I have that dialed in, I hit rewind. If that is what life at 80 looks like, how does life at 60 look in order to achieve that? Dial that one in again and again. To be there at 60, where will I need to be at 40? Dial that in as much as you need to get to those 1- and 5- and 10-year goals.
Quick example of this in practice.
I was listening to someone say that they were thinking they may buy property in the next 10 years or so. I asked why and they went into all they wanted to do and what it would cost to get them there. So, there was their 10-year goal. Not a bad goal to have but sort of a standalone thing. As we zoomed way out to her at 80, she came up with a grand vision for what she would be doing with that land and how her family would be utilizing it. We dialed it back and found, she wanted to hit plenty of milestones before she met that vision for 80. The money and time it would take to cultivate that vision she had couldn’t start with purchasing the land in 10 years. After that conversation they started saving more aggressively and setting themselves up to make that purchase much sooner. The goal ended up being much easier to focus on, and therefore attain, because she was able to see it as part of that overall vision she had cast.
Great, when will I have time for that?
I know it is tough. Your life is full and this sounds like an add, and not a small one. Here’s the thing though, you will never just get time to plan or create a vision for your life. You need to make that time or steal it. Yup, for us busy moms, those are the options.
Personally, I much more frequently steal it but making the time is a great option too.
Making the time
Making the time to cast a vision and align your goals could look something like this. You could take a day (or half day) off from work. If you have a spouse, you likely want them to take that time as well. If that isn’t an option, schedule a date. It could be by yourself or with your partner. Plan a sitter or house cleaner or whatever other help is needed to get the time you need. I would honestly suggest at least 3 hours of uninterrupted time. This will allow you to dream and brainstorm and truly dial the time back in to understand the milestones.
If making the time feels like your style, get your partner or anyone you’d be including in this exercise up to speed on what you want to do and schedule it. If there is one thing us busy moms know, it is that nothing that takes more than 5-10 minutes will happen unless it is on the calendar.
Stealing the time
Stealing the time is really more about slowing your brain down to plan and cast a vision in the little moments of every day. In the instances where you’re alone or doing something that requires no brain power, allow yourself to dream and consider what 80 looks like. This could be while you’re driving, when you wash the dishes. While you’re walking the dog or even in the shower. It could be any time really. You only need a couple of ‘sessions’ of a 10-minute break to have a good idea of what this looks like for you. Then, the next time you have that same 5, 10, or even 15-minute gap to think, turn your dial back. To get to that by 80, where will you need to be at 60 or 65? It will take more time over all to do it this way, you’ll also have to bring your partner in with you intentionally to ensure you both align. The beauty is though that it gives you more space to write and re-write your story.
Practical application, and my preference
Like I mentioned before, this is really my preferred method. I enjoy having some loose ends in the realm of dreaming. Let’s be honest, if we don’t have a ton of time to do this we very likely may not have hours to devote to it.
My favorite time and way of doing this, is in my truck. When I’m alone, I turn off the radio or podcast I’m listening to and take a few breaths to empty my brain a bit and recenter. Then I take myself back to that 80-year-old version of me (which gets more vivid each time) and walk myself back. Even if nothing changes in the vision, plan, or goals, it’s a great way to refocus on where I’m going. When my husband and I are driving without the kids we’re able to talk about it more organically too. We can bounce ideas off of each other or new things we’d like to get or do and ask ourselves how they fit into the plan. With as busy as you are, I’d encourage you to give it a try.