Have you considered the type of culture you’re building? No, I’m not talking about the corporate culture with their professionally crafted mission and vision. I don’t mean the values that they try to instill in employees. I’m talking about the culture that you create. We’re talking about the culture you’re building with those that you lead and interact with. We all lead. We all influence. That means that we’re all creating a culture for those around us, whether we mean to or not. As with so many things, I don’t believe there is a wrong culture, but you may not be creating what you want if you aren’t doing so intentionally.
The Culture You’re Building at Home
I started thinking about culture recently, as with many things, because I was becoming aware of what was happening at home. If you’re new around here, at home I lead three little boys with my wonderful husband while we both work full time and volunteer to lead in multiple capacities within our community. It’s a lot, but it’s great. If you asked, I would say that the core of our home is our faith, respect, work ethic, and fun. We try to model prioritizing work and fun with helping others and making life better. So, you can imagine my surprise at this conversation.
4-year-old: Mom do you like to play outside?
Me: Yes of course! I play outside with you and I play outside by walking or running.
4-year-old: hmmm maybe. You mostly like to sit in here and cook. Dad plays with us way more.
Ouch, and that is with me making a conscious effort to get out and play.
I am not one to beat myself up. So, to the moms who are thinking all the encouraging words about how a kid doesn’t understand that work must be done, I appreciate it but not necessary. I reflected on the conversation a little and, he’s not wrong. Dad is more playful. Not really in the intentional play, but more playful in the day to day.
Evidently, I need to retool my home culture.
Since then, I decided to follow my husband’s lead a bit more. I get a little more playful. Even in the correction or redirection, I can be playful. For example, I see the big kid admiring the flip of his newly growing mullet in the mirror while he’s supposed to be brushing his teeth. I could bark at him to not get distracted and just brush. Or, I could tell him to watch if the curled lock at his neck bounces, while he brushes his teeth. When the middle guy is failing to get into his snowpants on time, I could read him the riot of how we’ll all be late. I could also ask him if he can get all of his snow gear on while sticking his tongue out. That one is actually an ADHD hack that we don’t use often enough but always ends in giggling. Finally, requiring three kids under the age of 10 to sit silently in church followed by sitting in Sunday School and snipping when they are antsy, just won’t work. Instead, I could encourage them color pictures that match the Bible stories, dance to the hymns, and give high fives during communion.
I want the culture of our home to be a balance of faith, work, respect, and fun. That means I need to find a way to inspire a culture that supports that balance. Whether it is true or not that I skip playing to cook dinner, doesn’t matter. Whether or not there is a good reason, also doesn’t matter. What matters is the impression that your words and actions are leaving on those you lead. That is the culture you’re building.
You know this crosses over to the work world too.
As with so many things, the culture you’re building is a direct result of your influence at work too. Whether you’re in an entry level position or the leader of the division, department, or company, you’re creating the culture. The mission, values, vision, employee experience and culture strategy are a great place to start. But that is all it is, a start. Just like I can answer your question if you ask about the culture of our home is a great start, my work wasn’t done, and neither is yours.
I would encourage you to do what I did:
- Reflect on the feedback. It might hurt your ego but dwelling on the sting won’t serve you. If what you’re hearing can help move you in the right direction, think about it objectively and get moving!
- Analyze what you truly want the culture to be how you can apply what you now know. Even if you knew the right answer before you got the feedback, this is your chance to reanalyze if the culture you thought you wanted is the right fit. For example, I could have determined that fun just sounds nice. I don’t actually care if life is fun. Then fine, feedback received and the fact that I don’t play is just fine. If I do want fun to be a part of the culture, then I need to figure out how to apply it. It might not be a simple, he said play outside I must play outside. Get creative and find what works for your circumstances.
- Implement in a way that supports the overall goal. You actually have to do the thing. If you boil these steps down to just the first words, there is a pretty clear trend in my posts. Reflect, objectively analyze, and act. Once you’ve made the decision, go do it. You won’t be perfect but you’ll be one step closer to building the culture you want today.