Have you ever noticed how people seem to ask how you’re doing at the most convenient times? You’re walking down the fall at work getting some water or just taking a moment away from your tasks and someone asks, how are you? Sure, we all say the same combination of things, good, fine, ok, or something cute and creative like, one day closer to Friday! It’s easy to respond with a pleasantry when you’re moving around and taking a micro break from the work at hand. If they’d asked you 5 minutes earlier as you were in the think of the tense customer interaction, on the phone trying to line up all the schedules to get your kid to the dentist, or when the flurry of email activity came in, you might have said you felt exhaustion, overwhelm, frustration, or stress.
It’s not that we’re not being truthful when we say, I’m good, it’s that in that moment, when we’ve walked away from all the mess, we really are. We have switched away from frustrating situation to a better one. And we know we’ll have to get back into that overwhelm but for now we really are good. Nothing has really changed, but for the moment it feels like it has.
Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com
Why are we less stressed when it hasn’t really changed?
During that gap time you’re able to decompress. You can put life, work, or whatever you were dealing with previously into perspective, and focus elsewhere. You’re taking the time to take a breath and let your mind drift off of your very small pinpoint of focus for a moment. Often times, you’re adding a little movement and a change in scenery to the mix as well. For example, you’ve gotten up away from your desk, let your eyes fixate on something further away than your computer screen, and actually walked to another room. All of this has tons of researched back science behind it, but you don’t really even need to consider that, it’s common sense. We feel better when we can take a step back, get the problem in perspective, and move our bodies a little bit. (This is why your Fitbit buzzes every hour if you haven’t moved.)
It is common sense, but we don’t seem to follow it. We flit from completing one task to another and churning on what is stressing us out without taking a minute to do the very simple things that will help us feel better. Then, we try to use those small seconds between each task to get something else done. I know this example all too well.
Doubling Down on Overwhelm
Sometimes there is just so much going on at work that I can’t help but try to do everything all at once. I know nothing will get done well, but I try anyway. There was one particularly hard season where there was a really high stakes process. I felt as though I was holding the whole world on one platter spinning on the tip of my finger held out from my body. There were other, important, but less visible projects, personnel issues, processes, etc that needed to be addressed as well. Each of those were smaller plates spinning on my other fingers and toes. I would switch tasks from one issue to the next very careful to never drop that large platter.
There were days that I didn’t change my leggings. I would drink silly amounts of cool tea because making food or reheating my tea seemed like a waste of time. I got to the point that I could barely move because my back hurt. My body was stiff from standing still for hours upon hours and from the stress of what I was working on. I was miserable.
What changed?
There were a few things that made a big difference in carrying me successfully through that season. It started with running. I started running more often and for longer distances. I didn’t necessarily have a ton of time so I’d have to make sure I was pushing myself to get through the run. Running created a goal that was walking away from my endless to-do list at my desk. It also forced me to shower and get dressed every day. I do understand how simple that was but because I wasn’t doing it, it was a game changer. I would run at lunch and shower and get dressed (in cleaner leggings) every afternoon. This created space in little pockets before the run because I would have to get dressed and stretched between meetings. It created space during the run, and after too as I took 10 minutes to get ready.
Because I was walking away from my desk for an hour (and taking time to eat), I had to reprioritize my time. I couldn’t hold all the plates. If the platter was most important, some of those other plates needed to be handed off before they fell. I found people to take a few responsibilities, set some down to be picked up later, and tried to balance the platter project plus just a couple more.
How you can beat overwhelm too
Write down a short list.
This should be a short list, 3-5, of tasks to complete. Don’t keep it all in your head like I was. Make sure your list is of tasks. The tasks should support your bigger projects however, if you list projects or concepts, it will feel overwhelming. Keep them manageable. Once you have them all done you can consider adding more.
Creating more margin.
I created margin by running, but it isn’t just the time on the road that was helpful. What hobbies do you have that you can practice turning it off at some point during the day? Running itself wasn’t the game changer. Having something that took me away from a screen, out of my head, and focused on my benefit was. I also think having the thing that creates margin be physically tough helps but it isn’t required.
Use the margin wisely.
As I noted, my margin created by running was more than the run itself. That meant that if I had 5 minutes to walk away in the morning I didn’t scroll or try to squeeze in one more email. I had to get my workout clothes on. I couldn’t really procrastinate on drinking water because I’d be too dehydrated for the run. Knowing that I expected myself to accomplish this one outside thing meant that I needed to prioritize time leading up to it to set myself up for success.
Countless times I’ve heard people say they have no time. Then you see them complaining about something, or scrolling, or simply staring at their computer screen doing nothing. You have the margin, just use it in a way that is productive. Do a couple push-ups, take a prayer walk, read a page or two of a book, or do a mental gratitude list. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just do something.