Do You Need Some Grit, or a Brain Break?

I was watching TV with my kids and was struck by something pretty mundane that the plot included. First off, ever since our kids were little, they have really enjoyed teen soap type shows. I don’t know why but honestly, I’m not complaining. I’ll take Heartland over Blippy, Caillou, and Aurthur any day. So anyway, we’re watching the show and the character had just broken up with his girlfriend and was focusing on school but couldn’t regain focus. His buddy then said, That’s because you need a brain break. Come hang out with me today. As I often do, I got stuck on that one line. When do you know you need a brain break and when do you persevere through the hard to develop your grit? My brain had to explore what that might mean in the real world and how to know how to make the decision.

There was no brain break at home

Reflect back a few days and one of my boys was struggling. Like, epic fighting and disrespect for a full hour. The whole thing started because he needed to do his homework. Something that would have taken less than 30 minutes. His brothers both started and finished during the time that he was struggling. He asked to go to bed which I wouldn’t allow because it was 5 pm. He continued to yell and carry on and do what he could to make me think he was doing the work without actually doing it. Well, I lost it. I was not having this anymore. Finally, after more crying than was ever called for we talked about perseverance.

I explained that he needed to persevere in this situation so that he could show himself that he could. He needed to build the muscle of doing hard things you don’t want to do because then it will be easier the next time. While I’m at work or even at home there are things that I need to get done that maybe I don’t want to do but the result of them is important. Then I remind myself of all the great lessons I’m learning and muscles I’m developing along the way. There are lots of things we don’t want to do. Having maturity and grit means we accomplish them anyway. I thought it was a pretty good monologue. One that all the parents in those teen dramas would have said. However, the kids in those shows react a little differently.

Well, that backfired

My kid looked me in the eye. He was close because he was sitting on my lap. He said with all the earnest, that he hates perseverance and grit and doesn’t want to have them. Ouch. Then, I got pulled away by dinner on the stove, and he did start his homework. He actually put in more time than was required. Did my monologue do the trick and he just didn’t want to admit it? I have no idea. I don’t know why he actually started. One hour in though, he started his 25 minutes of homework.

Breaking it down in the office

And now for a much happier version of taking a brain break, that took a much-needed break from really complex work. In my line of work there are always mountains of projects to be done. Some a small and can be accomplished in a couple days. Others are behemoth sized projects that take months to complete a specific portion of it, not to mention the years to complete the full scope. On top of the project work there are required day-to-day tasks and activities that are required to keep things running. Add to that a sprinkling of fixing things that break and cleaning up mistakes, and you get a really full and heavy day job. How would you feel about that type of work? I for one, and many others on the team, thrive on the effort and fast pace. Others wish things worked more methodically. In the end though, with this much going on, we all get burnt out sometimes.

Recently, the team needed a break. Which worked out perfectly with the end of a project coming into sight. It was time to celebrate. We used some of the project budget to buy treats for those who were impacted. We also included a fun note to engage the group and explain the why. This allowed those impacted to take a little time out of their busy schedule to enjoy the treat and celebrate all the work that had gone into making the project a success.

Our break came in the form of work

For the team, our break was not enjoying a treat. Our break was to do something physical after carrying the mental load for so long. So, we took some time away from our desks and laptops and created packages to share. It was an entirely different type of work than we’re used to doing. The stretching in another capacity was fun. Yes, we’re the group who thrives on the fast pace. So of course, this became an efficient assembly line in no time. Stretching into a different type of work, something more physical was just the break we needed.

Take a brain break that won’t kill productivity

I’m clearly not perfect determining when a break will help. Likely, if I’d given my kiddo some sort of break before doing his homework, it wouldn’t have taken as long. Next time we’ll see if it can be a more enjoyable experience for both of us. Here are my thoughts on what to consider for your next brain break.

Define the break

Make sure you have an idea of some, if not all of the parameters of the break. For example, how long are you taking a break for? What will you do? How will the activity help you decompress? What benefit will you see from taking break from what you’re doing? Thinking about how it played out at work, I can answer most of these questions. We didn’t know how long it would take but otherwise, we were pretty well defined and it was super successful. Now, think about a time that you told yourself, I just need to walk away. Could you answer any of these questions? How successful was your break? I’m guilty of it too friends. You need a break and suddenly you’re scrolling Instagram and eating all the chips and you’re not sure why or how long you’ve been there.

Is there a reason for the break?

I know this sounds obvious but think about it for a minute. Is it a break or are you just procrastinating? It’s very easy to not feel like doing something and take a break for no real reason. This is where I went wrong with my little guy. He just said he didn’t want to do his homework after he came in from playing. In my mind, there was no reason for that break. However, I didn’t have all the information. After he opened up, I understood why he needed the break and what he was trying to control. So, reflect for yourself. You do know your whole story. Listen to your body, but make sure it’s giving you objective information. If you can dig deep and develop your grit, you’ll rarely regret it.

Try flexing a different way

This one is almost like a silver bullet. You can develop grit and get your break. When I’ve seen breaks work the best is when you do the opposite of what you were doing. So, if you need a break from just sitting at your computer, go for a walk. Your eyes will focus further than the screen and your body will get some movement. Need a break from complex thought work? Do something more physical like scrubbing the bathroom, working out, stacking wood, or boxing up treats. Physically need a break? Sit down and read a book or play cards with your family or friends. It doesn’t have to be exactly my examples but note a few things. Taking a break can still be productive when you need it to be (tell me you don’t need a bathroom cleaned right now) and be restful at the same time. It can also be a complete turn off of all the things. Just keep it intentionally defined and make sure you’re taking it for the right reason.