Every time my kids get to a new age and stage in life, I think to myself, this one is my favorite. This is the best one yet. Snuggles with a baby bean was great. Then as soon as they had some personality I thought, how do you get better than that. Oh, now they’re mobile and have preferences on people, toys, and food? They are incredible! Next the toddler stage where they really seem like complete little people and say the funniest things. Add a few more kids to the mix and I especially love how their ages play together. True to form though, I consistently think, this is the best combination. I just love them at these ages. I’ll probably change my mind in a year or two but for right now, you can’t convince me that anything is better than 4, 7, and 9. You simply cannot.
My passion for leadership and organizational dynamics skews my perception, certainly, but watching these kids interact is such a mirror for life. It is a distilled down version of what all of us old adults over complicate every single day. So today I present to you, lessons from my small men. I hope we can all learn a little from their single digit years of wisdom.
When you need a minute, you take a minute.
This is basically a quote. If you want to hear it from his sweet (slightly sassy) little voice, check out my Instagram. Let me set the stage for you a little bit on this one. He was in taking a shower in my bathroom. It is a walk-in shower, so to a four-year-old it is basically a spa because of the size. He had been done cleaning himself for a few minutes and was just standing under the hot water. Knowing we had 5 people showering and places to be I was trying to hurry him along and he was just taking his sweet time standing there. I told him to turn the water off. His response, in a minute. I go into mom mode and snap to shut the water off. Without giving him even time to respond I say, you shut it off or Mommy will. He responded with the quote. When someone needs a minute, you take a minute, OK?
Now, he was being a little sassy but the lesson remains. When you need a minute friend, take it. Don’t let someone pressure you into moving 5 minutes faster just to hit their deadline or timeline. It really is, just a minute. Taking that minute to breath and enjoy something super simple like a hot cup of coffee, a deep breath, or a little extra shower time is worth it.
Make a plan for work, and a plan for fun.
The middle man takes things very seriously and wants a plan to go with it. (You may remember this is also the child who created a system of rewards for doing above and beyond chores.) Whether it is coloring a picture, doing a chore, or playing a game, he wants to do all of it and very strategically. So, I wasn’t too surprised, when I asked about the best part of his day, to hear it was making a huge list. He and his buddy created a list during recess on a giant sheet of paper. They broke it out into chunks of time and had everything they would do on their sleep over outlined on it. It included things like fishing, finger knitting, snacks, bird hunting, everything a little country boy would want. When I picked him up from the sleep over and asked how it went he said, It was great! We did the whole list and more!
So, what can we learn from this middle guy? I know we all make lists to get chores done, meet deadlines, or any other required thing but for fun, we leave it to chance. Don’t risk it. Plan to actually have fun. If you don’t know how you’ll spend your down time you might be missing out. Maybe you don’t need a huge list but, come up with some way to expect fun and reward yourself for having it.
Do stuff all the way.
Now for the more serious advice. We’re talking the oldest, so, play time is over. He is getting a little older and joined student council at his elementary school. If you thought this would be a little thing where they planned a dance or something and called it a day (like I did), you would be wrong. This is serious stuff, with elections, student led stores with product research, price determinations, etc, and fundraisers to benefit kids in other areas. It’s a lot, and my son takes it super seriously. He is dedicated to the meetings, to the committee he heads, to what it means to be expected to work the store and events. I mentioned how proud I was of his dedication and how these were great skills for the future. He didn’t even look up from his work, just offhandedly remarked, we do stuff all the way, Mom.
If you’re going to do something, do it all the way. Put what you have to give into it. That might look different for everyone and every day, and that is ok. Whatever your, all the way, is today, give it to the causes and people that you’re committed to.
What are the simple lessons you needed to learn?
I love learning from kids. The ability they have to love themselves and still grow while inspiring others in incredible. There is such a clarity to the issues and triumphs they experience. The simplicity of their problems really just stems from the fact that we’re outsiders and have been there before. From our over complicated adult lives we assume that we know more and need to teach them, and of course we are. Don’t overlook what you can learn from kids because that simplicity is really just clarity in disguise.