No one likes to share bad news. Everyone assumes it will get better with time, and to some extent, it will. If for no other reason than you get used to doing it. Exceptional leaders aren’t willing to settle for getting used to it though. You see the challenge of having these difficult conversations that you likely had no control over, and you’re ready to meet it head on. I’m sure in your Googling you found the typical advice. When you share bad news be prepared, know what you’ll say. Be compassionate and supportive of your team and how they feel. Follow through and keep communicating if you committed to do so. That is all great. I agree wholeheartedly with all of it. If you want the same run of the mill advice, Google on my friend. Today I’m sharing with you the 3 most important things about sharing bad news that you won’t find in ChatGPT. Get the full scoop HERE on YouTube.
1. Prepare to share bad news
Most people will tell you to prepare to share bad news by knowing what you’ll say. That is a fine jumping off point but it isn’t nearly enough. Yes, know how you’ll deliver the message. Rehearse what you’ll tell the group and how you’ll share it (email, meeting, individually) but it’s deeper than that. This is the time to push for clarity with your boss, before you ever share a word with the team. Imagine questions your team will have and ask questions that will allow you to respond to them. Knowing you’ll have to share bad news with your team should have you asking your boss questions like this.
- Why are we doing this? What is the benefit or what risk are we mitigating?
- How much of this information can I share with the team?
- Is there a clear timeline on this change/decision?
These kinds of questions equip you not only to share bad news, but to support your team in a conversation which is even more important. In these times more than ever your team needs to feel like they have control. Getting involved in the conversation does just that for them.
Prepare for questions
My clients use the communication framework to share good and bad news alike. So when the client needed to tell one IT team that their focus was changing, it could have gone one of two ways. She could have said, Our priority is now the flexibility of local meeting space, not break fix. Don’t worry. We’ll have all of you trained in how to focus on this work. That may be true, it may have even come from asking her own questions. It isn’t prepared to get questions. This client brought her concise remarks to coaching and we put them through the framework. What came out of it was more like this:
You’ve been putting in a ton of work on break/fix problems while other teams are focused on new development which is actually creating more breaks for you to fix. To make the best use of everyone’s time we’re focusing on local meeting space. Your skills will translate well to this new work and you’ll get an invite to start training next week. I’m certain there will be bumps in the road and I’m confident you’ll bring them to me. So we can be most prepared, what are you anticipating working well and causing problems with this transition?
Changing this communication transformed the end result. The team was confident they could bring questions and they were empowered to be part of the solution. That empowered part is pretty important, let’s look at that.
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2. Share bad news with empowering empathy
The typical advice when you share bad news is to be empathetic. To use empathy is great advice, until people put it into practice. For some reason we hear empathy and we translate it to sympathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else. As opposed to sympathy which is feeling pitty on them for the situation they are in. The difference is that sympathy sits in the pain, the confusion, the loss, and the frustration. Empathy uses that understanding to empower people through to the next step. Sympathy sits in emotion and empathy empowers action. Let’s look at the difference.
Sympathy is saying, Layoffs are terrifying. I appreciate you, even if they don’t. Empathy is saying, I know the possibility of a layoff feels impossible to deal with right now but we’ve worked through hard things before. Let’s take one step at a time. You’ve done some amazing things here. Let’s set up some time to make a list.
Sympathy is saying, Yet another change in process. I don’t know how they expect you to keep up with everything but I think you’re doing great. Empathy is saying, I know how hard you’re working. You’ve met every challenge. Our top priorities remain (1, 2, 3 top priorities). They can change how we get there but not that we get there.
Being direct is how you show support
Showing empathy does hold space for the emotion while empowering with next steps. It also guides people who can be so stuck in looking at the problem to focus instead on the next steps. This is one of those things that people agree with in theory but when faced with an opportunity to empower people when they share bad news, it just feels too foreign. So, they continue to look down at the problem too.
They look down at the problem like your favorite pair of sunglasses falling off the side of the boat. There is a collective, oh no! Then, at best, they offer a vague it will be ok, and move on. That does not empower people. It is sympathy followed by reassurance. It’s meant to be supportive but without a direct next step. Now, if you watch the shades sink and say, oh no! We can drop anchor and look or we can grab a new pair from the gas station this afternoon. You feel much better because it was direct about what to do next.
Similar to our sunglasses, is the lay off example. Simply looking at the potential downsizing and reassuring that you appreciate the work, can make people feel worse. They don’t need you to watch with them as their hope sinks away. They need you to be direct, and bring them into decisions on what to do next. Being direct takes back the power. You, and your team, are no longer the victim. You’re able to make the most of a difficult situation.
3. Consistency is key when you share bad news
The first time you have to share bad news your boss will remind you to follow through on what you say. Make sure that if you tell the team you’re going to give weekly updates on the profit sharing that probably isn’t happening, you give them updates, weekly. If your boss has exceptional communication skills he may even tell you to remind them of the consistency you’ve shown. Reply all on the same string of emails. Start the meeting by pointing out that we’ve talked about this each huddle, and will continue to. This is great advice. Follow it. But here we’re talking about the things people aren’t saying about sharing bad news. So here, consistency means share bad news in a consistent way every time you have to give it.
As a leader you’ll connect with your team or department on difficult topics more often than you expected. You’ll have to share that a key member of the team is leaving. There will be years where you can’t give our raises. There will be mistakes that require hard work under a scrutinizing eye. Those are stressful, painful times for your staff. Your job is to keep them focused on what they can do, and get it done. That means none of you have time for the rumor mill and spiraling thoughts. That is exactly why your team needs consistency across all of the bad news you share.
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How do you create that consistency?
You’re able to be consistent and authentic when you share bad news when you have two things. First, you need to understand your own talents and strengths. This means you know what you do best and you lean into that when times get hard. In coaching we identify your natural talents within the first 2-3 weeks. That means you can leverage your unique cocktail of strengths confidently so that your team never has to question if you’re giving them the whole story.
One client, who is a complete visionary in his business, had to break the news to his technicians they wouldn’t be off double shifts for at least 2 more months. He leaned into his futuristic talent and painted the picture of what these extra hours would do for the company, their valued customers, and the men’s bank accounts. He could vividly share that vision, until every one of them saw themselves as part of it. Because it was in his nature to think that way, he could tie the vision to each and every sacrifice and benefit that company went through.
The other half of what you need to build consistency in sharing bad news, is a framework. Look, I get it, having a structure to communicate with seems counter to utilizing your talents. That is the very reason you need it. Using a communication framework, with your natural talents and strengths, gives you a balanced repeatable process. Your team will know what to expect from you every step of the way. There is comfort in knowing what to expect, both for you and your team. When you utilize a framework you get the consistency of knowing what to say and when, even when the information is difficult. Your team gets to focus on digesting the information rather than trying to guess where you’re going next.
Putting it all together
Let me paint you a picture of what this can look like in a real world situation. I had just returned from maternity leave and was getting my feet under me again leading a team of 20 and adding another 30 to my oversight. Prior to having the baby I was leading work with a business consultant, creating on boarding processes to support a department of 200, and planning how doubling my team while I was out of the office was going to work. In that first month back, the head of our department left the company unexpectedly. There were unanswered questions, fear, and instability that most employees hadn’t experienced before. At that moment I knew there was a lot of work to do but could take an easy breath because I had already built the foundation to share bad news with my team.
In the meeting with the executive officer, most people fiddled their hands nervously. I asked questions. I wanted to find out what facts we knew and what we could share. My team knew I was transparent so I brought all 50 of them into a room where we stood in a circle. I shared what I could, notebook in hand. I started by saying, one of the things I was most proud of that team was their ability to do what needs to be done under pressure. Now, we’d need that strength more than ever. I told them what I knew and how we’d move forward. Then, pen in hand, I asked them what other questions they had. I’d just learned about this minutes before so while I didn’t have a lot of answers, I could try to get them and bring them back to our weekly huddle. Just like we all did for every important thing we were working on.
What was the impact?
That day many other teams lost productivity. People milled around and gossiped. Phones went unanswered. In the following week’s huddle though, my teams were all on track. It’s not because they weren’t affected by the news. Everyone in the department was shocked and worried. My team had had a consistent, empowered approach to all problems. This was just the same structure on a bigger scale, and we could weather the storm. Want to be prepared for that same impact? Let’s talk about what coaching and leveraging your strengths, structures, and communication can do for you.