Stereotypes: The Surprising Trigger for Better Leadership

What if stereotyping was helpful in leadership? I know that sounds crazy but go with me a minute. What would happen if you let yourself lean into your initial bias just enough to see it and accept it? You could accept your first gut reaction for what it was, a biased gut reaction, and use that to make better decisions, stronger relationships, and get more creative in your problem solving. Today (here and on YouTube) I’m showing you how to leverage your stereotypes to build stronger connections and better solutions.

But stereotypes are bad, aren’t they?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that we hire, promote, or build processes and systems based on biased assumptions. Stereotyping isn’t useful or helpful and in a lot of situations will get you in quite a bit of hot water. That being said, avoiding them like the plague and denying we have them might actually do even more harm.

Let’s take an example. Let’s say we have a woman approaching retirement age, we’ll call her Betty, who can’t log into the system on her laptop. Betty worked at it for 2 hours before her meeting. Then because she can’t get in, shows up to the conference room with a yellow legal pad and pen. Your biased assumption would probably be that Betty hates technology or doesn’t understand it and is resisting the change to the new system. You immediately realize you’re stereotyping based on age. In embarrassment you clam up and pretend not to notice Betty writing notes while everyone else clicks away on their laptop. Your effort to avoid stereotyping Betty as a Boomer who hates change and tech means

• Betty doesn’t get support to fix her issue.
• She might be embarrassed herself to ask since everyone else appears to be in.
• She’ll have to do double work later when she types up her notes in the system.
• The rest of the team either makes the same assumption about Betty you did or assumes you don’t follow through on your expectations of them. Or worse yet, both.

Avoiding the stereotype actually caused a snowball effect of problems so you could save face. Stereotyping might be bad, but avoiding it like this can be much worse. Click here to go deeper on why in the YouTube video.

You can use stereotypes to your advantage

Stereotypes can actually prompt your curiosity. This curiosity is the first step in building stronger relationships with your team that you leverage to motivate them to hit bigger goals. First, you need to stop using stereotypes to clam up, and use them as an excuse to open up instead.

Make the stereotype a trigger for curiosity

What if you flipped it? What if when you realized you were stereotyping you used it as a prompt to lean in instead of pulling back? The truth is that your first thought is automatic, its the next thought that you can choose. That first thought might be a stereotype but it’s what you do with that thought next that matters. You can make that next thought, Why would that be?

When I say,Why would that be? I mean the objective reason behind what I’m seeing, not digging in further on why I have that bias (there is a time and place for personal reflection but this situation isn’t it). So when I see Betty walk into the meeting with a legal pad, I assume she’s avoiding using the system. That assumption, which at first is a trigger to tell me I’m bad and I should move on, can now be a trigger to better understand the problem she’s facing.

Let me give you another example. Years ago, when Millennials were the new kids on the block, I sat in a meeting with two men who likely had children who fell in that generation. Working in insurance the men were talking about the shortage of outside adjusters. They were all in on their stereotypes. One said, No one wants to do real work anymore. The other responded, I know! These kids aren’t willing to walk into a flooded basement. They just want cushy office jobs. It went on like that for a while. At first, I agreed with them. After all, there was a shortage of adjusters and they just seemed so sure. Then I asked myself, Why would that be? Why would people not want that job? If you want a free guide (WITH SCRIPTS) to spark curiosity, CLICK HERE!

So, I asked the two men sitting in front of me. The two men who had ‘cushy office jobs’ complaining that no one wanted the ‘real work’. Why didn’t they want that work? Why didn’t their kids do that work? Rather than assuming the stereotype was right, or avoiding it because it was ‘wrong’ to think that way, we just got curious about the answers.

Rather than assuming the stereotype was right, or avoiding it because it was “wrong” to think that way, we just asked the question. And the answer was simple: the job wasn’t attractive anymore. The pay wasn’t competitive, the hours were brutal, and the physical risks were high. It wasn’t that “kids these days” didn’t want to work—it was that the system hadn’t kept up with the market or the workforce. What started as a stereotype—“Millennials are lazy”—actually opened the door to a bigger conversation about the real barriers to recruiting and retaining talent. We got to have a bigger conversation

That’s the power of letting stereotypes be a trigger for curiosity instead of a dead end.

Coming back to Betty, what if instead of shrinking away from your bias, you leaned in with curiosity? Instead of assuming she was avoiding technology—or pretending not to notice—you might have asked, “Hey Betty, what’s going on with your login? Do you need a hand?” That question could have uncovered the real issue. Maybe the system locked her out after too many attempts. Did she not get the training invite? Did IT provision her access correctly? Suddenly, the stereotype about her age and tech resistance isn’t the end of the story—it’s the beginning of uncovering a solvable problem.

And here’s the bigger point: curiosity that grows out of stereotypes lets you work on two levels at once. On the individual level, you support Betty so she doesn’t feel left behind, embarrassed, or overworked. On the systemic level, you start noticing patterns, like we did with the lack of adjusters. If one employee struggles with logins, maybe it’s a training issue. If multiple employees struggle, maybe it’s a design or support gap. Either way, curiosity helps you see beyond the stereotype to both the person and the system—and that’s where the best solutions live.

So the next time you catch yourself stereotyping, don’t push it down or ignore it. Use it as a signal. Pause. Get curious. Ask, “Why would that be?” When you do, you’ll not only deepen your relationships with your team, but also uncover opportunities to make your organization stronger.

That first thought may be a stereotype. But the next thought—the one you choose—can be the one that changes everything.