How to Take Action to Regain Control

Don’t underestimate the power of action. All too often people get wrapped up in their problems and simply spiral around them. It could be frustrations in the line to grab your coffee to the fear you feel when you’re job is threatened. Maybe it’s the panic that comes when you can’t get ahold of your kid late at night, or the anger you feel when someone is treating your unfairly. When you’re feeling panicked, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, helpless, take action.

That action does not have to be big either. We don’t need to take some grand step to help us feel as if we’ve regained control of the situation. Take some small, intentional step and your mindset will follow. Thankfully, this is yet another example of how your skills are transferrable between personal life and professional. This week, we’ll see how impactful it was to take action at home, and with a colleague.

Learning to take action

Recently my bigger guys were having a bit of a rough day. They got into a massive fight. I mean, rolling around on the ground. There arms were flying everywhere with shouts to get off me! Not because either of them was trying to end the fight. Each was trying to find the opportunity to get a cheap shot in or get better position. Well, I was not having it and ended the fight immediately. (Spare me the ‘boys will be boys’ narrative here. Beating each other up isn’t acceptable regardless of your gender.)

In my house, the punishment fits the crime. Not in the severity sense but quality. If the problem was you couldn’t support your brother, you get more opportunities to be supportive. If the problem was that you can’t work together, you’re getting more opportunity to work together. In this instance, no one could get the story straight on why the fight started and just blamed the other. Opportunity to work together it is!

And how did that go?

This started to work well for one, but the other was struggling. He was being disrespectful, talking back, and actively working against the job I gave them. Fine, you can ‘work together’ with me kid, and practice some respect too. So, he came in and helped clean the kitchen. Starting out, he made lots of comments about how it wasn’t fair. He was still being sassy but doing the work. Eventually I got down on one knee in the kitchen to look him dead in the eye. I said, Look, you know you’re being disrespectful, and you’ll be practicing showing teamwork and respect until you stop. Why don’t we just stop so we can move on. I was kind of surprised when he instantly nodded and quietly finished his job. Not surprised that it worked, just surprised at how quickly it worked.

Still learning as adults

I’ve been working with a woman for a few weeks now and we’re still in the mindset stage. She has a hard time believing she can move past where she is and what she’s always done to be where she wants to be. She thinks the only option is to stay in a job she hates to earn the money and balance she needs. I recently got a message that went something like this, How am I supposed to do this? I’m too far out of the game. I don’t even know what employers want anymore. It was about 10pm. She had mustered the courage to take action but it was late, she fell down a worm hole, and was overwhelmed. Shortly after we met and talked about how she was feeling. I could have left it at that, but of course, I didn’t. I had her pull up her resume and gave recommendations on what to add or how to tweak. We looked at her cover letter and I gave feedback on that. We talked quick hits, where to focus, and where to let go. She not only felt better but had a plan for next time.

You need to take action and find a guide

So, what do these two stories have in common? A few things actually. The woman I’ve been working with came to me looking for comfort, and I pointed to action. My son pulled away in search of comfort, and I gave him action. Both of them were also looking for some level of control but probably had different levels of awareness of that. I could have left them each with comfort and moved on. Why not? They were frustrated and would have felt seen and heard after getting it out. My son probably would have stopped being disrespectful if I would have given him a hug and told him I loved him. Why not stick there, what’s the harm?

Without action you don’t regain control. If you don’t take action you can’t grab hold of this situation and you aren’t equipped for the next one that comes your way. There is a time and place for a hug and a reassuring pep talk, however it is the action you take that will change your circumstances. You just need some small action, that fits into a larger plan, to take back control.

Each character in these stories needed someone to listen to them. They needed a guide to help them shift their mindset. In both situations, they needed the guide too, to point them to action. The right action. With that action they both regained control and are better prepared for the next situation that rocks them.