This is Why You’re Not Getting Promoted

You’ve been open with your boss about your career goals. You took all their feedback and implemented it. You’ve even shared with them everything you’ve been working on to be the person they need in that next role. Now it comes down to the wire, you’re watching your email for the official offer. Your heart drops when you get an email but not the one you were expecting. It’s the email announcing that Chad got the role you were hoping and praying so hard for. How could this be? You did everything right. You had everything the job description outlined and then some. Why aren’t you the one getting promoted?

I know this story all to well, for my clients, and for myself. The only thing worse than not getting the job you think you’re perfectly prepared for, is getting the feedback afterward to just keep doing what you’re doing and wait your turn. The fear and frustration run high and all of a sudden being promoted feels as likely as swimming across Lake Michigan. You create all sorts of stories and assumptions on why you weren’t the right fit. You didn’t rub the right elbows, you’re too good for them to let you go, or you won’t be a slave to the job. Some of them even get backed up by leadership.

I am here to tell you that what you think is holding you back probably isn’t, and there is something you can do about it. Not much of a reader? No problem. Click here to learn what to do about it on YouTube.

You only get promoted if they like you

Getting turned down for your dream job is rough. Getting the brush off on a job that you thought was a stepping stone and frankly you were over qualified for is excruciating. The embarrassment and frustration is almost physical as the heat rises in your cheeks. It is really tempting in that moment to rationalize that it must be a popularity contest. They must have promoted Jimmy because he _insert some negative if not unethical thing about Jimmy_. We get resentful feeling like we have no control and retreat rather than getting better. It’s called learned helplessness.

Learned helplessness was identified in the 1960s. Two scientists put dogs on mats that they could then send electric currents through. Dogs would feel the shock and jump off the mat to avoid it. If the shocks came and there was no where to jump to the dogs would lay down on the mat and just take it. They would feel the shock everywhere rather than just their feet because they couldn’t avoid it. Then, when the space to jump off was given back, the dogs who had learned they couldn’t avoid the shock would still just lay down when it came.

The dogs learned to be helpless because there was nothing they could do. When you decide you have no control over your career, you stop trying. You make your situation worse by ‘laying down’ on the job because you don’t see a way to avoid the pain. But you can get off that mat. You can refocus on what you can control when you translate those helpless stories to something you can do something about and jump into action.

What we think is holding us back

Clients and prospects that come to me looking to take that next step in their career usually have some variation of the following reasons.

1. I don’t have the right _degree, certification, designation_.

Look, I’ve worked with a lot of people in a lot of industries and rarely, rarely, is your level of education an actual barrier to the job you want. Now, you want to be a doctor, you’re going to need med school. You want to be a master electrician, you’re going to need an apprenticeship. That being said, if you want to be a Controller, a Director of Operations, the Customer Service Supervisor, or Chief Sales Officer, and more, it’s not your education that is holding you back. Education will never replace application. That means you can get the job you want, with or without the letters after your name. You can apply what you learned from making 1000 sales calls to inspire teams to try your approach. The results you help others achieve will advance you beyond any LMNOP.

2. I’m too good at what I do now to do anything else.

I’ll admit that people can put your talents and skills in a box. They see your technical skills as a reason to keep you where you are. Sometimes it’s because they think they’ll fail without you other times they just can’t imagine you doing anything else. First off, kudos to you for being indispensable in your work. It takes talent, skills, and dedication to get to that point. Let’s just not live there. Leverage that amazing work you’ve done to advance you, not pigeon hole you. Being too good can become golden handcuffs, but only if you let it. It’s time to pick your head up from that hard work you’ve been doing to advance other people’s skills and build a new skills set in the process.

3. I’m just not a political brown-noser like some people.

When someone gets the opportunity you want it is tempting to make them out to be the villain. We don’t want to be the problem so it must be a rigged game that we are just too classy to play. I need to give you a little tough love if this is you. Not only is this learned helplessness, this is you as the primped and pampered poodle laying down on the mat and accessorizing it to pretend you meant to be there.

What you call politics I might call networking and relationship building. It will likely be uncomfortable and strange to build relationships outside of where you’ve been, but imagine the opportunities you might get to see. You get to choose. Are you going to dress up the painful place because it’s easier to sit in your discomfort? Or, are you going to jump off that mat and leave it behind to see if someone out there is able to open a door?

What can I do instead, so I am promoted?

Take personal accountability for what you want your life to look like. You aren’t trapped on your mat like those poor pups. You get to create you own reality and be the main character in your story. The truth is people with problems love to talk about their problems. You will differentiate yourself, and prepare for success in the role you want when you lead yourself. What that really means is you can use each of the things you think is holding you back to make you exactly what, and who, you need to be in that job you want. One client was actually promoted to her dream job in 6 weeks by leading herself.

Leverage application

My clients always start coaching by learning to lead themselves. They learn to appreciate and leverage their skills and strengths to bring their best to every interaction. That means they aren’t worried about their degree because they are too busy sharing how the team exceeded goals this quarter and are on track to break records this year. One client is up for her 4th promotion this spring. It has nothing to do with her high school education and everything to do with her ability to follow and then improve upon a process so that her team beats goal every single month.

Create your successor

Being amazing at your job is great. Leading someone else to be amazing at the same job is even better. Your boss may feel trapped into keeping you in the same role because they’ll fail without you. That’s no problem when you can bridge that gap. You can showcase that you have more skills than data entry when you train someone to do the work as well, or better, than you could do it. A few years ago I worked with a young man hoping to be promoted to Finance Supervisor. The only problem, his boss relied on his completion of financial reports. When I say relied on, I mean he held on like the kid in gym who finally made it to the top of the rope and didn’t know how to climb back down.

This emerging leader could have resigned himself to being stuck there until his boss retired, or he could use this an an opportunity to prove his leadership skills. We worked on his coaching up to influence cross training. Then we practiced every coaching conversation he’d have with his peer. Not only did the team benefit from the cross training but he created a suitable replacement while getting training himself to supervise the work. Killing 2, 3, or 4 birds with one stone is what you would want too isn’t it?

Build connections

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, networking is the number one thing holding you back. Stepping outside of your comfort zone is never easy, that’s why its called the comfort zone, it’s uncomfortable out here! When you practice it in courage you get more comfortable and more confident each and every time. Now, I’ll level with you, I am an introvert to my core. The only thing stronger than my desire to avoid making small talk and making new friends, was my stubbornness that something so silly will not stand in my way.

I’ve seen the circles I wanted to be in from the outside my whole life. In school I wanted to be with the athletes. In college I wanted to be with the researchers and club leaders. At work I wanted to get to the rooms where decisions were made. Every time, I did it, not because I was talented or smart or was even invited. I did it because I was too stubborn to let someone else tell me I couldn’t. What that means for you is that you can too. You don’t have to have any special talent or qualification other than the determination to help yourself. You’ll make it where you want to be with determination, grit, and a guide to help you along the way.

Get where you’re going faster

Today we spent some time transforming how you think about getting to that next step. You are capable of growing into that next role and no one else’s actions or opinions will stop you from getting there. If you’re ready for that next step and you need a guide to help you gain the confidence you need to move forward, have that direct conversation with your boss, and create your plan to move into your next role. Click here to snag your copy completely free. It’s like having me in your back pocket as you prepare to have that all important conversation with your boss.

If you’re ready to take massive action and take back control of not just your career but translate that feeling power and poise combined to every area of life, we should talk. Consistent, weekly coaching keeps you focused and accountable to your goals. You clarify your vision and take constant aligned action to get them. What that really means is you have a built in support to encourage and gently push you forward as climb to the summit of your success. In 6 months you could become completely unrecognizable from the disappointed and disgruntled employee who didn’t get the job, to the person who never takes no for an answer. You’ll see your own success and make the path better for those coming up behind you. What view will you see? Let’s talk it through.