How to make Networking Work for Working Moms

I have a love hate relationship with networking. I’ve talked about it before. If traditional networking looks like 30 second elevator pitches, speed rounds of random questions, and handing out business cards at your table, I am not here for it. Nobody wants that smarmy salesman feeling when they’re talking to someone new. What you want is connection. You want to find people who can add value to your life and career while you’re also able to add value to them. We want to connect on a personal and professional level to build trust and commitment. That takes time and intention. It can’t be done by randomly picking a business card out of a fishbowl or taking 1 minute to explain your favorite vacation spot.

It can take days, weeks, and even months to build the connections with people that will add reciprocal value. I don’t know about you but honestly, sometimes that doesn’t feel like time I have to spend. Sure, the payoff would be great. The time tradeoff for it is one that many of us just can’t seem to find. When you’re a working parent and have your hands in so many things, both in work and outside of it, carving out time for your own career development is tough. It’s hard to prioritize the happy hour mixer over making dinner for your kids. That’s especially true when you know you’ll leave feeling drained and without the real connection you wanted and needed.

I’ve been there, and decided networking wasn’t for me.

This instance was a few years ago when my boys were really small. I think actually I was pregnant with 2- and 4-year-olds at home. With the constant barrage of questions trying to get to whether or not I’d continue working after having a third little boy, I was pretty insistent on proving my commitment to my career. I signed up for an event that was focused exclusively on networking for women. There wasn’t a guise of education or entertainment, only networking. We started out with a brief talk on the importance of networking. This covered the same basic highlights you’ve heard before.

• Career growth is less about what you know and more about who you know.
• Connections open you up to new opportunities.
• Women tend to have less organic opportunity to network so intentional events are so important.

I was eating it up.

You know how much I agree with all of those statements; so I was in. After that first 10 minutes or so we set up for speed networking. Just like the speed dating you might have seen in the past or on TV, we all sat facing each other with note of the 1 minute timer. With each connection you had 30 seconds to share and 30 seconds to listen the other person’s info on a given question. Every question was something like, what was your last vacation? Are you more of a sweet or salty person? What are your hobbies outside of work? We did this for a while, switching to a new connection and new question every minute. Then for the second part of the event we got cookies and lemonade and had a chance to just talk with our new connections to go deeper.

Ask me if I stayed for cookies.

I went home after the speed round. It was late. I was hungry (pregnant remember, cookie wouldn’t cut it). My kids were likely wanting Mom to tuck them in. Finding out Suzie from the credit union’s favorite ice cream flavor was not enough to make that trade off worth it. So, I bailed. Could I have potentially missed out on a valuable connection by leaving, maybe. Would I have missed time with my babies for that chance, absolutely. The chance didn’t even seem that likely, I mean, how do you build meaningful connections that will benefit your career talking vacation, ice cream, and pet photography? The point of networking, as we said before, is to find people that can add value to your life and career while you’re also able to add value to theirs.

How can we make networking different?

Looking back at that situation there are issues on both sides. I could have done more to prioritize and engage with that session. The session could have been structured in a way that was more conducive to building meaningful connections. Or, the session itself could have been done away with and instead better education on how to network, in the wild, could have been provided. Overcoming the challenges of networking as a working parent requires a lot. To be successful it needs combination of strategic planning, effective communication, and opportunities that align with your schedule and priorities. Here are some strategies you can try to help working moms overcome networking challenges.

Prioritize Networking and Set Clear Goals

Recognize the importance of networking for your career growth and make it a priority. All the points they outlined in the beginning of that session were true. While it can be challenging, investing time in building relationships can lead to valuable opportunities. Also, define your networking goals. Are you seeking mentorship, new job opportunities, industry insights, or partnerships? Clarifying your objectives will help you focus your efforts and choose the right networking opportunities for you. If you’re looking for mentorship or partnership, you likely are better off integrating your networking in your day-to-day to find the right person. If you’re looking for new job or industry insights expanding your scope may be necessary.

Combine Activities or Delegate

If possible, combine networking with other activities. Attend events that coincide with your child’s extracurricular activities or consider family-friendly conferences where you can bring your family along. Or take the opposite approach and plan to make it a night/day out and away. It’s ok to have time carved out for this work. Intentionally delegating some responsibilities can make a big difference. In my experience, making a decision with intention and sticking to it produces so much less guilt than tiptoeing through a situation. Want dedicated time to focus on networking? Take it, own the decision and set up an alternate bedtime routine (ok that part is specific to me). Want your life integrated as much as possible? Great! Set those goals we talked about before around the football game or social hour before the recital.

Utilize Digital Platforms

Online networking can be more flexible for working moms. Platforms like LinkedIn, industry-specific forums, topic focused groups, and virtual conferences allow you to connect with professionals at your convenience. Engage in online forums, webinars, and virtual networking events. These options offer more flexibility and eliminate the need for physical presence. If this sounds like you, I encourage you to take a look at The Develop U Book Club. The online component allows for people with a common interest focus as a group and learn from one another.

Inform Your Network

Let your existing contacts know about your situation as a working mom. They may very well have been there themselves and have recommendations on networking options that accommodate your varying roles and responsibilities. Reconnect with former colleagues, classmates, and acquaintances, virtually or in person. They might be valuable contacts who understand your journey and can offer support. A simple email saying I’d really like to learn more about ______ from someone with experience could you point me in the right direction? can go along way in a short amount of time.

Quality and Consistency Trump All

At the end of the day, it’s about the quality of the connections you’re building and the value you’re adding to others. This less about quantity of people and events. Focus more on building meaningful relationships rather that support you for a season or long term. A few strong connections can be more beneficial than a large but shallow network. Remember, networking is an ongoing effort. Make it a habit to regularly connect with your contacts, even if it’s just through brief messages or occasional check-ins.